| Until recently, western medicine ignored the mind-body connection. Mind-body doesn't mean that what's happening in your "body" is "all in your mind;" however, it can sometimes mean that getting yourself in the right frame of mind might help your body. Research is now showing that learning how to cope with stress may also help you be more receptive to treatment. Therefore, learning how to control your anger may be just what the doctor ordered.
Anger can take many forms and result from many sources. Anger occurs when you perceive that an <i>outside factor</i> threatens you in some way. Such threats don't have to be interpreted as resulting in physical harm. Anything that disrupts the status quo can do it. Anger is feeling that you've lost control. Uncontrolled anger can make you a:
Bully: when you lash out at others
Doer: when you're told you can't do something and you decide to prove you can
Victim: when you're the object of bullying, for example, or feel at a complete loss of control over a negative situation
Anger can be productive -- like when it makes you a "doer" who is working to achieve a positive goal, like becoming proactive about your medical treatment and deciding to adapt to a healthier lifestyle.
Unproductive anger -- like fret, worry, or hatred -- hurts your personal growth and mires your outlook on life. You probably remember a time when you acted differently because something prior had made you angry. Unproductive anger causes a bad mood, and if you keep feeding that bad mood with negative thoughts, your actions will reflect it.
Sometimes you can diffuse anger by doing something as simple as counting to 10 or putting a smile on your face before you respond to the source of your anger. If it's no risk of harm to yourself, then "go to the source" and tell the other person that his or her actions make you angry and suggest you discuss what can be done about it. (Likewise, if you find your actions have made another angry, talk with that person and try to resolve the issue before his or her anger has a chance to fester.)
It isn't always that easy. What can you do to recognize the difference between the times such simple techniques will be effective and when you need more drastic steps?
If your anger stems from the threat of someone causing you physical harm,
Dr. Marc Bock advises to "remember you are responsible for your own safety. If you are in an angry situation, you are responsible to leave and put yourself in a safe place."
Any time you're in danger is not the time to try to understand another's motivation. If it is beyond your scope to change the situation -- such as when dealing with a bully, don't put yourself at risk.
You take charge of your life when you spend your time focusing on what's beneficial to you and, if you can't resolve things in an intelligent and peaceful manner, at least admit that external factors beyond your control will always exist -- and let go of them when it's healthy to do so.
However, when your anger is resulting from dangers outside of your control -- like a threat of harm from a bully or other abusive person, don't be afraid to ask for help.
Until you can get such aid, remember that deep breathing can help. Dr. Marc Bock advises "cool air actually cools off that part of the brain which controls anger."
When you're not in immediate danger, remember that even when you resolve things in your mind, the adrenaline that resulted from that anger is probably still coursing through your body and making you anxious. Taking a walk or performing another simple physical activity (like getting up and dancing to that music you have playing in the background) is usually enough to calm you. You'll be better able to handle a situation if you do all you can to stay calm enough to seek your best solution.
Sometimes it's impossible to get away from the source of your anger. When your frustration over the need to cope with an autoimmune illness begins to cloud your judgment and takes the form of anger at others, or at life in general, it can be a time to admit to yourself that perhaps a session with a mental health counselor is in your best interest. Many find that something as simple as listening to
relaxation tapes
provides a sufficient break in the routine -- a chance literally to unwind.
You don't want to live life feeling like a cobra coiled and ready to strike. Once you have your anger under control, you can get back to being
in control ... of your life and the factors necessary to maintain or improve your health.
You can find other anger management suggestions at: The
Sedona Method
SerenityHealth -- unique relaxation products at Discount Prices
Rage Tips American Psychological Association article:
Controlling Anger -- Before It Controls You
Copyright © 2001-2006 Pamela Rice Hahn
All Rights Reserved.
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